Well, frumps, as this “worse than we initially thought” recession slouches inexorably toward the “New Capitalism,” a certain puritanical prudence is seeping back into (most of) our lives. There are signs all around us of unfamiliar recession-coping measures such as belt-tightening, thoughtful purchasing (as opposed to the good old impulse buying that we had all mixed up with the pursuit of happiness) and plain old ugly-ass doing without.
Yes, I’m afraid it has all come back to haunt us just like our parents and grandparents warned. At any rate, if you are among the belt-tightening masses, I have good news for you – there is help out there to make those painful purchasing decisions.
The venerable LaughingSquid pointed me toward a totally marvelous new website aptly named Maybe You Shouldn’t Buy That. You have to see it to believe it but here are a few “priceless” teasers to get you over there.
Stuart Weitzman’s Rita Hayworth Heels going for a cool $3,000,000 (used: “as-is”). This fabulous footwear is designed around earrings (clever) owned by Rita, herself. The baubles feature rubies, sapphires and diamonds and the shoes were worn by Kathleen York to the Oscar ceremonies the year that she was nominated. This item is obviously not for those who prefer their shoes fresh off the factory floor.
At $15,000, the DC-9 T Stabilizer Airplane Desk is the perfect surprise for that CEO who’s inner child still likes to go “vroom vroom.”
And finally, there is the Relaxman Relaxation Capsule, available for $39,995 at Amazon. “The capsule is completely light, sound, and heat proof and features a fictional-sounding “negative-ion enriched atmosphere.” Perfect for the stressed out investment banker in your life.
So! There you have it, frumps. You really ought to click over to MYSBT or bookmark it for later and tell ‘em the Frump sent you.
satire expensive useless capitalism recession impulse buying consumerism
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
If that relaxation chamber also functioned as a oxygen chamber to enhance one's youthful appearance, I could consider that.
But that desk…are there even DC 9's still flying?
Cheers
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Hello there, David,
In re: the relaxation chamber: I'd never be able to relax in it – too afraid someone would throw some duct tape around it – sort of coffin-is, don't you think?
In re: DC 9s still flying, I doubt there are many. I reckon, that's why they are popping up as desk parts.
Cheers, F.
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Good morning, C.,
You surprise me all the time! I thought for sure those Rita Hayworth shoes would be your fav. Seriously, though, my observation about capitalism is that if somebody is making it, you can be sure there's somebody who wants it. I wonder if the people who buy this stuff have even a clue how much good that money could do in the world? One would hope that this level of consumer is donating as much as they are wasting. Go figure . . .